Missing, presumed unique
by Dread Pirate
Summary: Collector Kivas Fajo proves to have bitten off more than he can chew when he collects Soong's android. AU.


The alarms in Fajo's trophy room were by no means as loud as the escape alarms on the cargo and docking bays of the ship, but they caused no less commotion. It was the middle of the night, ship time, and less than three hours before, Kivas had brought the android aboard. Now the alarms were shrilling through all living quarters, rousing Fajo's staff and almost as quickly, the man himself.

It had to be said, the android had been more difficult than Fajo had presumed. Infinitely more entertaining than even he could have anticipated, but remarkably stubborn. Mulish, even. Wouldn't wear the beautiful new clothes provided. Wouldn't stop demanding to be released. A trifle vexing, but there it was and no-one could dispute it, the only sentient android in the known universe. A functioning, stable positronic matrix, with no sign of cascade failure. It was truly a miracle of engineering, one man's dream made synthetic flesh, a symbol of the dizzying heights to which humanity's ambition could rise. Unique, rare beyond measure, and absolutely impossible to purchase at any price.

And now it belonged to Kivas Fajo.

The synthesized scent of bubblegum hit Varria like a slap as she keyed in the correct sequence and the trophy room's massive doors slid open. It was very dark inside: even the tiny spotlights that usually picked out key items were unlit. When the alarms had first startled her out of her sleep, she had known in her gut that it would be the trophy room. Part of her had been expecting the doors to be forced from within despite Kivas' assurance that it would take ten androids of Data's strength to shift them. Behind her, she could hear running footsteps of more of the crew coming up fast, and with that confidence in backup she took a step forward into the darkness. Almost immediately, something crunched unevenly under her foot.

The proximity shield had been worth it's weight in gold. Even with a Federation pacifist like Data, one must assume (Kivas had said, smiling swiftly as he and Varria left the android to get settled in) a certain amount of potential for physical reprisals. And fortunately, it had a setting strong enough to repel attack by any number of superhumanly strong races. Unfortunately, as Kivas had explained, it would have been far too expensive to kit out all of his crew with similar devices, and he had the only one. So Varria had been somewhat alarmed, though she had too much sense to show it, by the android's sheer speed and deftness of attack. It had gone from standing to full leap in a microsecond, and Fajo's personal force field had repelled it almost as quickly. "Uh-uh," Kivas had smirked, looking down into the android's face as it lay flat on its back, momentarily stunned. "Naughty."

Remembering the android's attack, Varria moved into the darkness somewhat nervously, realising that it wasn't just a single alarm shrilling through the building: it was _all _of them. Behind her, two crewmembers took up position in the doorway, guarding in case of attempted theft or escape. Kivas had made a point of ensuring that every treasure he owned was fixed with an electromagnetic tag. Take any of the treasures from the room, or attempt to remove the tag, and the alarm would sound. The only treasure he hadn't tagged was the android. "But I _want_ him to move around, my dear," Kivas had said. "He's an animate object, it's an integral part of his value." And now all those little individual alarms were shrilling and bleeping in electronic distress, and the scent of bubblegum was being overtaken by the scent of heavy smoke…

"Kivas?"

"Yes, my dear?"

"Are you certain Starfleet believe their android's been destroyed?"

Fajo gave her a pitying look that suggested he was massively disappointed in her inability to grasp the extent of his cleverness. She shrank back a little, knowing her own value in his eyes was minor.

"Of course. Of course. You placed the crate containing exactly the right components behind the bar where you picked up my android, didn't you?"

She had.

"And you saw the _Enterprise_'s first officer scanning the rubble, didn't you?"

She had. The human had been accompanied by a Klingon, their bright uniforms with the panels of crimson and mustard yellow against black standing out starkly against the many duller civilian outfits. They had looked out of place in the settling dust and smoking rubble of the Dog and Dilithium Bar on Endas V. Varria had hidden herself amongst the lumbering bulks of a party of Pakleds and watched the Starfleet officers until they had beamed up.

"And the _Enterprise_ left orbit without a word to any of the ships docked." Kivas had pursed his lips and looked at her sidelong, reproachfully. "_My _android, Varria dear. Not Starfleet's. _Mine_. He wasn't even wearing their tasteless colours when you picked him up, now was he?"

No, Varria had admitted. He hadn't been.

Years, it had taken. A year after discovering the machine's existence and settling upon the desire to own. A further year to research Noonien Soong, his life, and more importantly, his work. Six months crawling Starfleet bases, talking to off duty personnel and gathering materials to modify the trophy room. And then -

- perhaps it had been luck. The _Enterprise_ had come to Endas V to pick up hytritium, had docked almost alongside Kivas' ship. And when Fajo's loyal crewmen had reported the android was in the bustling spaceport's bar, seemingly negotiating with the Pakleds…

Fate, Fajo had said, rubbing his hands in delight. "Fate has brought my single greatest acquisition directly into my hands. Varria. Go. Bring him to me, exactly as we discussed. He won't be any trouble. Starfleet are all the same - gullible, simpering idiots. Data will be much better off with me, someone who really appreciates him. You'll see."

A single tiny point of red smoky light glowed momentarily from the darkness in front of Varria, and she stopped dead in her tracks. Ancient instinct, dating from the time her forebears had been living in trees, gripped her heart and lungs in terror. Something was very wrong. She heard movement in front of her, as of a humanoid figure shifting weight, and then the gobbling cry of Fajo's lapling.

"Android?" she snapped, trying hard to sound authoritative and hoping she was facing Data in the gloom. She knew he could see well in the dark. "Android, you will sit in your chair and await further instructions. Kivas will - "

Her vision almost whited out as without warning the full lights came back on. Fajo was stood in the doorway, his hands clasped to his chest in horror. The two other crewmen by the door room remained still, rubbing their eyes.

Looking down, Varria discovered that her foot was placed neatly in the centre of the Mona Lisa's face - or at least where the face would have been, had the canvas not been punched through by an unforgiving fist. She dragged her gaze up and around the room as Kivas gave a low cry of rage and dismay.

The Dali had suffered a similar fate as the Mona Lisa, the melting clock face torn to shreds and now decorating the shoulders of a snapped fertility idol like expensive dandruff. The set of original Ming vases were scattered in widening circles around the shattered remains of their genuine mahogany display stand. The baseball card's cabinet hung at a drunken angle, the bubblegum scent pumping out continually from the broken dispenser. A Klingon ceremonial dish hung like a child's hula hoop around the battered hips of the Grecian statue, much of which had been smashed to fine powder. The floor was littered with unstrung Risian pearls.

Kicked, the Greek statue's head rolled across the floor and fetched up against Fajo's slipper. The collector gave a little gasp.

The android was sitting in the chair, still wearing the plain brown tunic and slacks he had been wearing at the bar. He cradled the lapling in the crook of his arm amid a nest of shredded purple cloth that might once have been a set of clothes, and was feeding it pieces of the baseball card as if they were treats. His dark hair was sprinkled with marble dust, and he had an original Havana cigar clamped between his teeth. The end of the cigar glowed, lit, and the yellow eyes above it were serene. He withdrew his leg from the kick, tucking it sedately over the other.

"What -"

Fajo found his voice at last, and it was struggling between fury and desolation.

"What…what have you done? Ruined, you've ruined - this was - this was -"

He strode forward, uttering little yelps of distress as he trod on any part of the destruction of his pride and joy. He pointed a trembling finger at the android.

"Data. Hah…Data. Now this…this is awkward. Mmm. Awkward for both of us." He produced a dreadful rictus grin. "This isn't finished. You…give me the lapling. Give it to me. Now."

The android blew out a stream of blue smoke, and merely shook his head.

"Give it to me." Fajo's hand came up, and in it the Varon-T disruptor, which he pointed at Varria. "Or, I kill her. Your choice. Your fault if she dies."

Yellow eyes flicked from Fajo to Varria, then down to the lapling, which was lifted slowly up in pale hands. "That's it. That's it. Can't let her die, can you? Now put it down -"

The neck of the lapling made a soft clicking sound as it broke under the careful pressure of android fingers. The little creature fell limp. Fajo whimpered quietly under the android's relentless gaze.

"Last of her kind…I swear to you, Data, I'll kill every member of my crew until you co-operate. I mean it. Think of all those innocent lives you'd be taking." His voice cracked as he once again surveyed the devastation in the room. "Oh, I'll rebuild my collection, and you'll still be the jewel in it. You're mine, understand? I don't see why this is so difficult for you, that fancy positronic brain of yours should be able to grasp such a simple concept as ownership."

The cigar was spat out against Fajo's personal force field, and followed in short order by the hurled corpse of a lapling.

"Because I'm not Data, you fool," sneered Lore, and lunged for Varria's throat.


End file.
